White Van Man On Tour…No More?

Our very own white van men have been known to leave the island and go on tour. To Europe they go…and beyond.

But mostly Europe. As we have reported about before here on the CVI blog, it is in countries such as France and Russia where white van owners have got themselves in a bit of bother. Some prison time…yes. Nothing too serious though.

The vast majority of “white van men on tour” don’t get in bother. A bit of rage? Yes. But handcuffs and 7 months of hard labour? No.

Most white van men head North, South, East and West. Where will they go next? Nobody knows…although, the days of touring the roads of our European Cousins may soon be coming to an end.

Why? Because if our country says “NO DEAL” to Brexit then white van owners may require a special Green Card to legally drive on the roads of Europe.

Right now, as we speak, a UK issued van insurance policy (like the one you can find through our 3 minute form) is enough to keep you legal to drive through EU countries.

However, if we decide that ALL DEALS ARE OFF…and we want to separate from Europe without any kind of deal, then, you can expect your van insurance policy to become “non Euro friendly.”

Instead, our European cousins (second cousins) will demand a special Green Card so you can legally drive on the wrong side of the road.

The French police will demand – “Carte Verte.”

Here is the thing: These European Driving Green Cards will be very much in demand. To the point where the demand will outstrip the supply.

“I can’t get my Green Card in time, what are my options?” The white van man about to go on tour will ask.

The solution is to print off the Green Card at home. You simply buy it in PDF form through PayPal on an official website and then let your printer do the hard work.

The catch? It needs to be green of course. It is a green card after all.

If you don’t have a colour printer or the “green” in your inkjets has seen better days, then your days of going on tour might be at an end.

You could always set off anyway, down to the port of Dover and through to the port of Calais, and then on to the open road.

But if your “Green Card” is actually a “Black and White Card” then you might find yourself at the wrong side of the law.

“NO VERDE!” – the Spanish police officer will say.

Our relationship with Europe is rocky enough, they won’t need much excuse to put you in jail.

And if you get angry? If you have an episode filled with rage and discontent? Then they may even put you away for quite a bit of time…just like our very own CNR, who is currently doing 7 years in a maximum security prison in the French City of Bordeaux.

Apparently its an Alcatraz type of prison. Set in a castle it is surrounded by high walls and no one has ever escaped. No visitors are allowed either, otherwise the CVI team would have been to see him.

© 2018 All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. See our copyright notice.

Share your views

To leave a comment on this story, please insert your details below.