Revenge Of The White Van Dog

I watched as the White Van Man was restrained by 5 French police officers as commanded by the inspector.

I rushed over to the inspector.

“It’s ok…he is just a white van man…a bit hot under the collar…but no harm,” I said to the inspector.

“Monsieur…what do you know…you are just a balloon seller,” he replied

It was then he looked me up and down…”do you have a lisonce for selling those balloons?” he asked.


“I arrest you in the name of the leahw!”

5 minutes later and me and the white van man were sat in the back of French Police van speeding through the streets of Paris with my balloons hanging out of the back window.

“Ne-nah, ne-nah, ne-nah, ne-nah…”

“You been on tour?” I asked the white van man.

“Yeah, just getting back from an extended tour in Siberia mate…hang on…how does a French balloon seller know so much English? He replied.

“Actually…I’m the CNR of a website called…”

I paused for effect…

“Cheap Van Insurance!”

“You…Are…Joking…It’s my favourite website pal. Proud customer of 5 years. Your blog posts kept me company in Siberia for the last 6 months.

Fast forward a few hours…and the boss back at HQ had spoke with the inspector and got me off with a warning and “no more costumes!” My balloons were confiscated.

I arrived back at the apartment.

“Chang…Chang…” I called out to my photographer. “Chang…Chang, where are you,” I said as I walked through the apartment.

There was an uneasy silence.

I went to the fridge to get some lunch.

As I opened the fridge door…Chang suddenly pounced out of the fridge and attacked me.

“sayawwwwww!” he shouted as he grabbed me and tried to take me to the floor.

“Chang…not…now….” I tried to say as we struggled

The struggle continued…right into the Steinway Piano in the living room.


It was an intense battle…and then…the phone rang.

We both stopped…and then Chang answered the pheun.

“CNR residence…it’s the boss,” he said handing me the pheun.

“Give me that,” I said snatching it away.


“We’ve just received intelligence that the White Van Dog is at the park near your apartment. Go there immediately and get the photo. Our social media experts are waiting and ready to get this on Instagram. Don’t let us down…”

“I won’t,” I said.

I put the phone down.

“You are getting better Chang, but you forgot one thing…”

I gave him a “karate chop” to the head.

“Never let your guard down…”

“Now I must go to the park…I will take your camera.”

Chang spoke from the floor…

“Wait…the piano…that is a priceless Steinway,” he said.

“Not anymore.”

We both laughed.

10 minutes later and I was in the park trying to act normal but realised my white gloves and camera gave me away

and then…

there she was…

The White Van Dog

I approached with excitement.

“Does your dog bite?” I said to the owner.


I went to down to say hello and then…



The white van dog bit my hand and ripped my glove off.

“I thought you said your dog did not bite?”

“That is not my dog,” he replied.

I watched as the white van dog ran off with my white van glove into the distance.

“Revenge of the White Van Dog,” I said to myself.

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