White Van Men Are Great In Bed, Study Finds

Well, well well. If this wasn’t something you didn’t already know but are bloody chuffed to read again, here it is…

White van men are good in bed. It’s official! And, as your cheerleaders and (un)official sponsors of white van men and women everywhere, we felt we simply had to share it!

The poll, commissioned by online doctor service, Zava, decreed that while white van men were king of making the moves between the sheets, while tradesmen, managers and house-husbands all left a lot to be desired (probably something to do with the hunky WMV down the road). 

A huge 20% of all the respondents in the survey, white van men included, said stress was a major issue that hampered their love-lives. 

While many men of the 1035 surveyed said at some points in time that they struggled to rise to the occasion, most said that they felt unable to talk to their partner or their doctor about it, and 17% had secretly resorted to taking little blue pills to help alleviate the issue.  Over 60% of managers admitted to struggling to get things moving, 20% more than those who work in skilled or semi-skilled jobs, such as white van men. And the good news is you can feel a little bit sorry for all the rich gits swanning around in their fancy cars and posh suits. Those earning between £60,000 – £100,000 were most likely to report ED issues, the study found.

Something that others, who aren’t white van men, have observed is that there’s something very primal and macho about being a white van man (as if you didn’t know), which probably contributes to their stellar performance in the bedroom. If you’re spending all day being macho and manly, it makes sense that carries on home to your private life. It’s just a more blokey way to live and comes with a certain power and status that other road-users simply can’t muster. 

So, you can keep your suits, and your flash cars and give your van a little pat on the bonnet for making you what you are. A tiger in the bedroom. As soon as you’ve helped the wife with the washing up, that is. 

© 2020 All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. See our copyright notice.

Share your views

To leave a comment on this story, please insert your details below.