“Hello this is the inspector speaking to you on the pheun in the name of the leahw.”
“The leahw?” I replied.
“Monsieur..Don’t try to be funnayyyy with me…The leahw of France…and it is in the leahw that I inform you of your balloon seller who thinks he is a news reporter…has just been been sentenced to 7 years in a prison in Bordeaux”
“Is this a wind up?” I asked.
“This is no wind up Monsieur..the glueve was found at the crime scene last night of some precious jewels that have been robed. It was a white glueve…with the initials…CNR.”
“It can’t be…” I said in disbelief.
“If the glueve fits…” the inspector replied.
“Oh yes, it is obvious to my trained eye who the criminal is here, and now he is doing the time,” he went on to add.
“Oh and one more thing before I get off the pheun…I will be sending you a bill for a priceless Steinway.”
The next morning and the morning papers confirmed what the inspector told me.
“FAMOUS CHIEF NEWS REPORTER JAILED FOR 7 YEARS IN FRANCE”
Sub headline: “A gardener who thinks he is a photographer sent back to Beijing”
I couldn’t believe the headline staring back at me.
I only sent him on a simple assignment and now he was going to be folding laundry in prison for the next…7 years!
I gathered all of the staff in my office and poured everybody a shot of whiskey.
“Here is to the best damn CNR you could ever get” – as I rose my glass to him.
“Yes he definitely was a bit…eccentric,” said the head of the SEO department.
“He was a genius,” I corrected her…
“An eccentric genius, yes…but a genius…although a bit flawed…true, some would even say… that is what he was…an eccentric, flawed…
“Loony” the head of the SEO department added.
Everybody in the office laughed.
“You can take those kind of comments down to the ….JOB CENTRE…your fired!”
“Anyone else want to make any comments? Get back to work.”
I can only wonder what he is doing right now inside those walls of the prison de Bordeaux. No doubt he is on some kind of wild ride already. I just hope he has access to a pen and paper to document everything
But…the show must go on. Apologies if the quality of blog posts goes down over the next 7 years but we no longer have our CNR.
I’m sure our JNR is going to step up to the plate and start pumping out some classic blog posts, but he has to learn the ropes.
Of course, loyal readers and customers of CVI you will still be able to get cheap van insurance…don’t worry about that. Just fill out our 3 minute form to get around 40 quotes from van insurance companies.