There used to be the days when milk floats were a common sight and sound around the early morning roads. People liked their milk…delivered.
In recent years your average milk float has gone the way of the dinosaurs (almost like ice cream vans), to the point where seeing a milk float is like seeing a calm white van man. It just doesn’t happen.
However, there are some people out there who still like their milk delivered in the morning, waiting at their doorstep and as they collect it in their dressing gown. For some it is a tradition they just don’t want to give up.
To fulfil this demand, your average milkman, or milkwoman, has decided to swap the milk float for a van…one of those light commercial vehicles is typically preferred.
So it’s good to see that milk is still being delivered in some parts of the country, like Bolton for example, where I hear that getting milk on your doorstep is still a common occurrence.
That is why on one cold morning on the streets of Bolton a light commercial vehicle drove around the empty streets. You might be forgiven for thinking the driver was up to no good, until you saw him get out of the van and then get some milk out of the back.
This milkman was just going about his business and doing the rounds…he didn’t expect what was about to happen next.
Suddenly, and unexpectedly, a voice came out of the darkness, “Freeze. Put your hands where I can see them. Down on the ground…NOW,” is possibly what was said, although no-one knows for sure.
It was the Police, and what appears to have happened is they had scanned the van. “Beep, Beep,” it sounded, and for your average man and woman in Blue, this is the green light they need to go in and take action.
So at 1:20am on a cold morning in the city of Bolton a tense standoff was happening. Would the milkman make a run for it? Maybe in the good old days of milk floats he would have decided to take off and let the Police give chase, but on this day he decided to give himself up.
He knew they had got him, and he knew exactly what for…no van insurance. That’s right. For some reason this particular milkman thought that driving around in the early hours meant he didn’t have to buy van insurance, but he was wrong.
The Police are everywhere, even in bushes, and it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is…they will get you, arrest you, and send you to jail if they find that no van insurance is the crime.
So now this milkman has to do the time…although there is no point in crying over spilt milk.
Much to the credit of Bolton Police they did recognise the fact that people would not be getting their milk now this van was off the road and the milkman was behind bars. That is why they allowed him one phone call, where they suggested he phone a mate to come and pick up the milk and get it out to customers.
So another van arrived. This time with insurance and enough space in the back to put the milk in there and then make the deliveries.
If there was Wi-Fi at the Police Station then I just hope the milkman took the time to visit Cheap Van Insurance, The Nations Favourite.
In 3 minutes he could have filled out his details, and then in no time at all get around 40 quotes. That is all you need to legally deliver milk.
He could have even used Cheap Van Insurance as a negotiating tactic in the interview room. “Look at the cheap quotes I’ve just got. I’m on the straight and narrow now, guv, no more bother from me,” he could have said to the Police officer.
With those words the milkman would have been back on the roads the very next morning, ready to deliver milk once again.