Brits staying home in droves to avoid Meerkat morons


An increasing number of British drivers are staying home instead of commuting to work – though those who don’t risk running into Meerkat-toting pillocks.

Does that not make any sense whatsoever? Don’t worry, all will become clear in time – just keep a few things in mind as I go about explaining the news this week. First up it was revealed recently that Brits have had it with having to fight traffic on the way to work and have been staying home more and more by taking advantage of mobile working. Many families have even decided to get rid of one of their vehicles in order to save on things like car insurance.

What does this mean for those of us who can’t get out of our daily commute, or the white van man that actually has to keep commercial van insurance on his vehicle in order to remain employed? Well first of all there’s fewer people on the roads, and that’s a good thing as this will lead to less congestion and fewer opportunities to get into road traffic accidents. However – and this is where that damned Meerkat comes in – there’s a problem: those left on the road are also have greater chances of coming into the types of thick bastard that Surrey Road Police pulled over recently.

Get a load of this story: at a traffic stop, the man couldn’t provide proof of valid insurance but he insisted to the cops that he did indeed have the proper cover. How could he possibly prove this? Well apparently he simply didn’t have his little Meerkat toy with him, but it was at home. That’s right – he tried to argue with the police that his little toy that he received in the post from a well known insurance comparison site.

Needless to say after a quick investigation it turns out the man did not have proper cover and that he’d been motoring about for heaven knows how long without. With fewer responsible people on the roads, these are the kinds of Brits we’ll have to contend with – so be careful because there’s no knowing what these clearly unstable individuals are capable of. It’s only funny when it happens to someone else!

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