Pasty Wars in Cornwall

Just weeks after reporting to you that more and more of you are embracing healthier living and a vegetarian lifestyle, the news is that down in Cornwall, there’s been a war of the van-driving carnivores. 

Yes, the usual calm of Launceston, Cornwall was the site of a major turf war between Cornish Pasty Van Man Scot Weller and his rival Benjamin Harbour. Mr Weller was driven at by Burger Van Man Benjamin Harbour when a turf war got out of hand. The battle took place on an industrial estate where Mr Weller had, for years, traded, undisturbed, plying his pasties to the happy customers of the local area, with things only ever getting difficult when people wanted to debate Gregg’s vegan ‘steak slice’ with him.

However all that changed and the relative calm of Launceston was upended when Mr Harbour and his trusty burger van decided that Weller had had it too good for too long, and drove his van directly at Mr Weller. 

It was ground beef at dawn, apparently. 

Mr Weller had previously been the victim of multiple threats by Mr Harbour, who wanted the pitch for himself. The threats and intimidation eventually peaked with Mr Harbour losing his cool and driving towards Mr Weller, in a bid to get him to move his pitch. Thankfully, Mr Weller had already been and spoken to the police, and had been advised to record any interactions between the two men, which led to the whole thing being captured on camera.

As a result of the unassailable video evidence, Mr Harbour was taken to court, where he was duly punished after pleading guilty to driving without due care and attention and common assault. 

When it comes to our personal preference, we’d always choose pastry over a bun, and so for that alone, we’re glad that Mr Weller has been allowed to continue to pitch his pasties undisturbed, hopefully for many years to come. 

… Tune in next week for the battle of the East London spirulina seller versus the yogi. (Perhaps).

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