Welcome your corporate overlord, get cheaper insurance


Well it’s official: the only real way to get cheaper insurance for your car or van is to sign on to one of those telematics-based policies that spies on you.

All right, yes I know you’re not actually being peeped on whilst you’re in the loo or something like that, but let’s be honest, shall we? These so-called “black box” car insurance and van insurance policies might offer you discount rates if you can prove you’re not a pillock behind the wheel, but you’re also letting a big corporation essentially monitor and record everywhere you go, not to mention when – and how – you get there.

Yes, I know that telematics is a particular boon for young drivers. Yes I know that these younger Brits can sometimes save as much as 20 per cent on their insurance costs – a kingly sum considering how much insurers charge anyone under the age of 23 to begin with. And yes, again, I know that encouraging younger drivers to be responsible behind the wheel is bloody brilliant, especially if these drivers know they’re being rewarded for their good behaviour. I just don’t bloody like the idea of a big, faceless corporation getting to keep track of exactly where my teenage daughter goes in her 12 year old Vauxhall Corsa that still cost more to insure than it cost to purchase.

So what’s the big deal if you’re leaving a paper trail as you motor about? If you’re not up to anything untoward you’ve got nothing to hide, don’t you? Besides – you’re in public, and you don’t have an expectation of privacy when you’re out in the open. That’s why CCTV cameras dotting cities like London aren’t even a bother to so many people nowadays.

Well bollocks to that I say. It doesn’t matter if I’m up to no good or I’m just having a lovely Sunday afternoon drive on some B roads – it’s nobody’s bloody business but my own where I go and what I do. If I want to share that with other people I’ll Tweet about it. I don’t care how much discount car insurance you’re offering me – just leave me the hell alone and let me listen to my Sade CDs in peace.

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