Newsflash: insurers think we’re all pillocks


As if we didn’t need even more evidence that the nation’s car insurance and van insurance companies think little of us, this week saw even more evidence emerge.

Nobody likes knowing that they’re thought of as a bit thick. Even if you’re a few fluid ounces short of a pint, you know when you’re being insulted – and that’s just what British car and commercial van insurance companies have been caught doing this week.

First off is a bizarre news story that broke concerning the length of the terms and conditions that accompany any and all insurance policies. You and I know them as ‘the fine print,’ and that’s because it’s usually only at the bottom of policy offer in a minuscule font that requires a microscope to read properly. Well it turns out that several insurers have so much small print that it actually exceeds famous literary works in length.

Who are the worst offenders? Well a consumer campaigner found that insurers like Sheila’s Wheels, M&S Bank, Endsleigh and Esure – and many others – had terms and conditions longer than George Orwell’s animal farm. How long is Orwell’s satirical take on government? Well it’s about 30,000 words – and that’s a drop in the bucket to each and every one of these insurers, believe it or not. Now you tell me – do insurers just think us so stupid as we won’t even bother reading these ridiculous walls of text – or if we do, rest assured that we won’t even understand them?

Meanwhile there’s an even more egregious little detail that was revealed this week as well, this time from the AA. The motoring organisation found evidence that a large number of insurers will hike your quotes up by anywhere from 30 per cent to 50 per cent if you have one or two no-fault claims under your belt.

Can you bloody believe that? I think this makes me the most livid and angry. The whole idea of a no-fault claim is that the accident you were involved in wasn’t your fault. Why in the world are insurers penalising drivers for not being at fault? It’s absolutely infuriating and it makes me want to not wait until Bonfire Night to start lighting things on fire.

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